THE MIRROR EFFECT
When I have the opportunity to talk with moms of daughters, I gingerly tip toe around a thing I call THE MIRROR EFFECT. Scientifically speaking, the mirror effect is a reflection of one’s self through the gaze of others. Speaking for myself, it’s seeing my reflection when I look into my daughter’s eyes.
It’s hard enough for our daughters to blaze their own trail. They certainly don’t need us trying to live vicariously through them or cast our own insecurities onto them.
Parenting is a great teacher. And as a young mom I was learning that God did not want me to see MYSELF when I looked into my daughter’s eyes. He wanted me to see HIM. He wanted me, through her eyes, to see HIS grace, and HIS forgiveness, and HIS peace, and HIS liveliness, and HIS worth. He wanted me to see redemption and value and love, only possible by knowing His son, Jesus Christ.
When we see our daughters as ourselves, we tend to want to hurl our own insecurities and issues onto them, because that’s what we do to ourselves. We pile it on.
As I worked through my salvation, I started to figure out this parenting thing. It’s hard, ya’ll. My girls weren’t little Lisa’s. (Thank goodness) They were fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of THE HOLY GOD for HIS pleasure and glory. They were sweet, sweet gifts from God to me. They were HIS image bearers, not meant to remind me of my failures, but to reflect His incomparable love for me.
When they were growing up, I kept, in red lipstick, these words on their mirrors, as a daily reminder of who and Whose they were…“YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.” It was a message meant for them…and me.