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  • Lisa Clark


Updated: Oct 28, 2019

(For the most part), I LOVE SOCIAL MEDIA…

I’ve sort of had my own rules going on in my brain for years. Should I post this? No. Will they be okay with that? Yes. Will this be offensive? No. Does this sound like I’m bragging. Yes. You’ve probably asked yourself on and off the same questions if you LOVE social media like I do. Here’s a good rule of thumb:

Philippians 4:8 – “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

So when it comes to social media, we should be using our God given filters, if we want to live within the P48 code…

I remember when I first found out about The Facebook. Caroline had it because she was a junior in high school and they had recently made a new “law” that older high school kids could get it. Previously it had been ONLY for college students. Laws change. I didn’t really know what it was or how to do it, but by the time Camryn got The Facebookwhen she entered high school, I was, by golly, gonna get The Facebook, too. After about 48 hours (and a 14 year olds help) I got mine up and running. prof pic and all.

AfterThe Facebook, came The Twitter. Shortly after The Twitter came The Instagram. After the Gram came The Snap Chat. I still don’t have The Pinterest. Or The Myspace. So as you can see I’m selective and have set personal boundaries for myself.

#1 - Mom, if your kiddos have it YOU have to have it. Rule Numero Uno. If they chat, you chat. If they gram, you gram. Or at least you have to have the app and their passwords. It’s nice to think this is their thing and you’re going to give them their space. That’s nice of you. And naïve. Get the apps.

Knowing their passwords is strictly for protection. That’s our job. Keep a file of passwords. If they change theirs, they update the file. It’s a privilege to have social media accounts as a child (under 18). Privileges are earned with maturity. You get where I’m going with this…it’s not a RIGHT to have Instagram or anything else on social media. It’s a privilege. You need to decide WHEN your child gets the app. Some are ready at a certain age and some are not. There is no “one size fits all” here. There are 60 year olds who evidently need parental controls. The rest of the rules pertain to us, The Mom.

#2 – You’re not the social media police. Can I be blunt? You’re not. I’m not either. Expecting other parents to text us when they see our kids acting foolishly on social media isn’t realistic. And it’s not their job. You’re the parent. Be the parent.

This rule becomes obsolete if we adhere to Rule #1.

#3 – Prior to posting on social media, ask yourself these questions: Is it P48?

Is this news he would want me to share? Is this a photo she’s okay with? Does this represent our family well?

Here’s a MUST ASK QUESTION – Has my child posted his/her news his/herself? If you’re eager to post an award your child has earned, or a new job title, or a date to homecoming, a good guideline is simply: Have they posted first? If not, ask yourself, “Is this my news to share?”

We’re all proud of our kids (and grandkids ;). There’s no denying that! I LOVE to post about my kids (and grandkids!) but sometimes, our children are much more humble than we are quite honestly. I remember getting so excited about a particular situation and my first instinct was to post about it. After asking my daughter, she said, “Mom, I’d like to keep that private, just between us.” Oh.

#4 – The final rule. Before posting that most amazing news ever…here’s the question I must ask myself…Have I celebrated at home, first?

Example: Son receives news at school that he made the A Team in 7thgrade basketball. We are all OVERJOYED at the news! We know this news IMMEDIATELY because he texted us. (In 1978, we had to share this news after school in the car… and could celebrate and go get an ice cream…) Before child gets home I’ve plastered good news all over The Facebook, because, well, that’s where GOOD NEWS GOES!!! And here’s the kicker. Son doesn’t have The Facebook. So he never sees all the celebrations. Celebrations are happening all over The Facebook…between me and my friends! Yippee! Son has no idea and assumes good news is status quo at our house and proceeds to go play some video games with absolutely no pomp and circumstance. Yippee!

What if instead of posting GOOD NEWS all over The Facebook, I took to the kitchen and made his favorite meal, complete with cherry cobbler and ice cream? And printed a banner on the computer saying, “Congrats you A-Teamer! You did it!!!” or something like that.

Here’s the point. We need to be celebrating in our homes and not only on social media. You’re the heartbeat of your home, mom! Use these opportunities to celebrate and build a strong community in your home. Your children are relying on you to build a fortress for their protection. Celebrations around the table and in the backyard are remembered for a lifetime!

Be THAT mom!

No more rules. Let’s go celebrate something!

*photo by Sara Kurfeß

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